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The quote above comes from a dvd that Lynne Hoppe lent me a few months ago titled What Remains: The Life and Work of Sally Mann.
(here's a clip where these words are spoken)
That phrase struck me as true for myself and my work as well. I know many artists feel the need and desire to travel far and wide, and I used to wonder why I've never had that longing. I love being inspired by the simple things that pass before me.
We've been having a period of Indian summer which has been so nice. Opening the windows to let air in, knowing soon it will be too cold. I wandered around my yard appreciating the breeze, sunshine and beauty around me - feeling inspired by the textures, colors, and minute details longing to be observed, or so it felt.
I went back inside and got my camera, and all the pics you see are some of the things I saw...

One of the things I've been asking myself to think about,through some of the reading I've been doing,is what kinds of mixed messages do I give myself.In general I am a pretty positive person, and I can always find a way to turn things around and find that 'silver lining'. On the other hand, I am guilty of delivering harsh blows to myself, with my own thoughts, especially when I get feeling overwhelmed, hurt, or tired. So I'm trying to be aware of when those thoughts happen, what triggers them, and how I can turn them around - because if my body is to heal, it needs full throttle self love, which I've discovered is the hardest thing I will probably ever learn to do.Give my own self, unconditional love.I know most of the reasons, and perhaps I'll share some of those some day, but dang if that isn't the most ridiculous thing that we humans struggle with - we can adore our children, our friends, our pets - heck, I do a better job loving a pepper plant some days!I've never been all that comfortable with prayer, in any formal sense of the word. I am also working on that - finding a few words that I can hold close, repeat and truly believe the message of, that I can offer up. I believe that prayers, offerings, words of deliverance can heal, but not if they are scattered in with mixed messages that cause self sabotage, so here's to clear thoughts, and "seeking grace". If you have a special prayer, mantra, or healing poem that you say to yourself, and are willing to share it, I'd love for you to leave it for us all to read.I wasn't planning on sharing this yet, but if I'm going to put full faith in the power of thought and prayer, I'm going to leave you by asking for your prayers. Not coincidently, it seems (considering all I've been thinking about of late, and how I put myself to the test through my body when I take on new challenges) after I finished these pages earlier today, I had to go for my annual breast exam. The mammogram came back looking good, but because of my history, I also had an ultrasound, which found a well defined lump. I'm thinking whew - what if I never had a lump before, I'd have gone merrily on my way, with a clean bill via the mammo, which it still may be, but I feel lucky I had the ultrasound... I will have a needle biopsy done next Thursday, and should have the results by a week from today. In the mean time I'm not worrying, because that's just not what I do. It seems like such a waste, since there's nothing I can do between now and when I get more information. Gathering up good energy I can do, so I'm ready to harvest :)I will keep you posted, and thank you in advance for all I know you will send my way. Love, Karin














I've been feeling sorry for myself, and spent most of my day in a ball of misery yesterday - feverish, rashes, blazing pain - and the weather - it was frigid, ugly, and nasty enough to match my outer whiner self!

Today I woke slowly, grumpily, still in the thick of it, but outside was almost too perfect - the kind of autumn day imagined and portrayed in a Hallmark movie, but realistically just out of reach because it's a actually a movie set -only it wasn't!!The sun was shining, the air dry, crisp, warm, but not too - the leaves glowing, just beginning to turn orange, red, and golden. Porches are displaying pumpkins, and young families were out walking their dogs and strollers. It would have been thought hokey if it hadn't been what was really going on.I was bound and determined to get myself out into the world. I haven't really been able to do that in a number of weeks, other than for doctor appts, and with autumn being my favorite season - as it is for many - I had to experience it. I've especially missed my favorite Farmers Markets, so my husband and I decided to make it our destination.
Continuing the Hallmarkesque vibe, Rye was celebrating it's 57th Annual Halloween Window Painting celebration, and the sidewalks were filled with families cheerfully painting ghoulish scenes!!
The pepper story started here but has all it's chapters scattered through these posts. We're coming up on the two year birthday of this happy fertile plant, my miracle plant, and it's busting all over with blossoms, ready to put forth a whole new bunch of sweet eatin's!As you can see, I am typing, which is progress!! My hand has been improving. I still have difficulty gripping and can't write or do my art making quite yet. I start physical therapy tomorrow, for an added complication - frozen shoulder (or adhesive capsulitis), three times a week. It's also on my right arm, which helps put a damper to my creative expressions, but the therapy should keep me busy and help get me moving hand to paper soon again.Thanks for your continued support and patience as I chug along!


The quote I share below, which inspired my desire to create and overrode my need for rest with another day of silence here, was heard in a conversation between Caroline Myss and Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz titled Where Medical Intuition Meets Mysticism.I know I've said it before, but here I go again! Chronic pain is a very isolating experience. However, something new about it has been evolving within me. Something that knows there are periods of isolation that are more than okay, that they are what is called for. I believe I am entering into a deeper experience of that kind of time.
When there is a physical crisis, whether it happens to be due to illness, accident, trauma, or in my case all the above, the first thing we do, I did, is seek 'healing'. Look for a fix to the problem. I want to find out what is "wrong" with me, and have it taken care of. Truth be told, I've been on that treadmill off and on for over 20 years, because I've been experiencing chronic physical pain that has interfered with my day to day way of living since 1988.
Though these thoughts have been percolating within me for a while now, the conversation I listened to has clarified my thoughts, taking them further. The question being asked now is, what if all that searching outside of self is exactly the wrong thing to do? What if the process of seeking medical treatments, nutritional balance, holistic care, etc - what if all that is actually just taking me further away from the true "healing" that is needed? When you do everything right, try everything that all the experts, friends, family, and even strangers suggest, and all fail to bring relief, and even make you worse, doesn't that mean something?!I know that all the seeking I've done, healing modalities I've worked with, inner journeying I've traveled - all the experiences that followed my searches have been necessary, and must have been done to get me where I am. However, an essential piece of the puzzle has been less attended to than the body/mind healing mantra.There is a trilogy to healing, and I believe we are made up of equal parts, in this human form. Body, Mind, and Spirit, or Soul, or the Divine within - how ever you may address that third element. I think it often gets lumped into the attention of the Mind, but it lets us know when it is being unattended to. No amount of thinking, pondering, wondering, or even silence is enough for the healing of the soul. When dissatisfaction continues to mount, and the restlessness within churns and stirs, and the physical body sends it's own varied messages - well, I may be a slow learner, but I'm not stupid!
I've rambled on enough for now, the ice did it's trick and my hand is braced so I'm typing with two hands again. While I won't be able to create my work in they way that I have, I will have to find some way to express - it is a Soul need. How I do it will be the key.
Thank you, as always, for your care and divine support!